Las Vegas

Las Vegas.  We went expecting Disneyland*.  And we found it.  Sort of.

Why the Las Vegas strip is like Disneyland:

1.  Crowd control.  These people know how to do lines.  There are serious crowds in Las Vegas and taxi stand and hotels have the same line strategy as Disneyland.  You never actually see how long the line is because you don’t know where those rope things (I’m sure there’s a name for them) are dead-ended.  And the lines move pretty fast.  At the airport, there are 2 sets of  12 taxi stands.  As soon as the taxis pull away, the attendant starts assigning the next twelve parties to numbered stands.  The taxis pull right up immediately and it all starts over again.

2.  Food is expensive.  The last time I came through Las Vegas – some time in the mid-eighties, my cousin, three kids and I stopped at Circus Circus to watch a 50-ish unicyclist juggle (she was fantastic) and to eat at the buffet.  It was $4 each.  This time I paid $4 for a bottle of diet Coke.

3.  Everything is fake.  Palm trees, rocks, facades…  I think the water might have been real, though.

4.  Mickey Mouse!!!  And Minnie!!!  There were several incarnations of Mickey and Minnie hanging out in front of various hotels.  Also Batman, which was (almost) understandable, since he was in front of New York New York.  And Elmo, for no apparent reason at all.

Why the Las Vegas strip is not like Disneyland:

1.  You can’t go five yards without being accosted by someone wanting to sell you something, which they all call giving you something.  Like 90% off tickets to see Carrot Top.  (They’d have to PAY me the ticket price to go see Carrot Top.)  Or a helicopter trip to Boulder Dam if you’ll just spend two hours being sold their new resort timeshare.

2.  There are tons of people begging on the street.  Disneyland would not allow this, but America does.  Sad dirty people who passed desperation months ago are begging for money for food or a safe place to spend the night.  People wearing $200 sneakers and dropping thousands at the slots walk by without giving them a glance or a kind word, much less a lousy dollar.

3.  Nobody looks happy.

*By Disneyland, you have read Disneyland, Disney World and especially Epcot.

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2 Responses to “Las Vegas”

  1. jubusu Says:

    You reminded me about why I’ll never go to Las Vegas again (I went once). Thanks!

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